How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
