in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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