i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
