on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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