Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize