Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
