how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
whose parrot is this?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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