In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
