he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize