It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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