Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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