Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
