got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
