dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Two words: blizzard sex
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
