Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize