just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
