I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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