Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
