it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
