Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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