Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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