Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize