i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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