I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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