CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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