Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
