belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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