It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize