he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
