I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize