my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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