your thong is hanging out like whoa
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He shit in the fireplace
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
