My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Jerry, you need to find god
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
