with your own penis?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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