i jhust puked up my retainher.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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