i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
