DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
