But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
