If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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