you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
