if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How's work?
Spinning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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