How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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