is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
FUCK WHALES
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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