Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
