New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
