the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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