You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
