I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
