We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize