then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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