Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We need to get me chipped asap
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
