just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This baby is an asshole
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize