so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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