It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
