A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
