The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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