Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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