he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
