at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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