I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize