if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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