I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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