Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
