Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
