I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
