why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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