Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
