Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MIDGETS
????
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
