I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
