We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
