do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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