He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
