yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
