You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize