I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
