4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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