i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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