I must be too annoying 4 u.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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